New Zealand 90210

Never mind that we already have a million different passwords and pin numbers to remember, here comes another one:

New Zealand Post will announce tomorrow a
new postal system for delivering to street addresses, introducing "zip codes" to the country for the first time.

It's lucky that having cellphones mean that we don't have to remember each others telephone numbers anymore, find the name, press send and away you go. Making sure you're not crossing networks at peak time of course!

The first number of the four-digit postal code will identify the general area of a person's address, with 0 signifying Northland to the North Shore and 9 the code for Dunedin, Otago and Southland. Everywhere else inbetween will be numbered inbetween.

The remaining digits will narrow the focus of where the letter is destined, down to at least the suburb or street blah blah blah. So, a
re you excited about getting your new number? I know I am. I won't sleep tonight for the anticipation.

Unfortunately, it's not going to do anything for the poor postie delivering Trade Me parcels in Auckland's suburb of Dannemora
where all the houses look exactly the same.

Posting for the sake of posting...


Three cats having a chinwag at our house on an autumnal Sunday morning..


Except for this guy. He doesn't have a chin.

Prepay, drive off, or suggest this to your nearest servo..

Garage owners are increasingly switching their pumps to pre-pay as soaring fuel prices spark a spate of drive-offs.

One owner -
Lester Gray at Caltex in Tauriko, just outside of Tauranga - said he made the move after losing more than $1000 from drivers leaving without paying in just a month.

He said if he had not done so his business would eventually be crippled.

[Source - NZ Herald]

Bollocks! To stop drive offs, you have to do just one thing:

Get out from behind the counter and onto the forecourt!

Get the babelfish to translate that if your local servo bloke is ESOL.

I’m not going to drive away if my petrol cap is in your pocket and you have my bonnet up while you're washing my window.

Lazy petrol station staff and petrol station Managers who are too tight to pay more that one staff member per shift are the problem here – and I reckon stations that actually serve their customers on the forecourt have less drive offs than the stations that just have an eftpos operator.

Bet ya.

Get the Mystery Motorist back on the job. Put some service back into the industry and watch the amount of people driving off ease back.

Smart Spending with Telecom

There are two types of people who use computers. People who hate Microsoft, and people who don’t really care either way. It seems the same is true with phone companies. There are the Telecom haters, and people who don’t really care either way.

I was a not carer until I realised that if you work Telecom to your advantage, nothing comes close to beating it.

- We’ve just gone onto the Freedom plan, $10 dollars gives you unlimited calling between home and mobile and back again. That’s pretty good. ihug? How you doing on that? Paradise? Vodafone?

- We’re also on Go One Bill Mates Rates. My previously 3 figure mobile bill is down to $30 and my wife’s is half that. We can call any Telecom phone, mobile or otherwise for 55 cents per minute.

- Telecom gives you cheaper Sky TV too. Ring them up and ask for it. You’ll save about $10 per month.

- Oh, here’s another hint. Get rid of Call Minder and buy an answerphone – save another $9.00 per month. You’ll make that back in no time.

- We’ve also just got Telecom Broadband. It’s not going yet but I bet it’ll be better than dialup.

I know this sounds like a big ad for Telecom, that's why I haven't given you any links to peruse. If you want these deals, go research them yourself and be aware, there are disadvantages, as with anything.

- We've had to cull all our friends on Vodafone or only ever text them.

- My 9 months pregnant wife is currently under the desk at home trying to install the Broadband modem and she’s getting pissed off with all that bending while I’m swanning round at work.

Truth be told, ALL ISP’s have been charging too much. So, after the loop gets unbundled (which is a pretty bloody stupid phrase by the way…) and ALL internet providers come down in price, services will be fairly standard. They’ll have to because the market will be driving it.

This is great news for us and being on Telecom means that there will always be consumer watchdogs, the Government and the bitter old journos in the glass ceilinged offices of the Herald to keep them in line – as long as you don’t buy their shares. When you’re with another ISP, you’ve got Fair Go and that's pretty much it.

Oh, Annette Presley, love her or hate her, but going after Theresa Gattung's job and getting hundreds of thousands of dollars of promotion for herself in the process was inspired.

On yer bike Mike...

Ok so Michael Ryan screwed up and has been told to get on his bike well and truly..

Can we move on now please? Let go of the bone, dog. The man’s been given the arse, his family have been dragged though it, his friends, while probably standing by him are telling their other friends that they know him just to make themselves look cool.

Poor bastard.

This information was due to come out in the budget right?

My bet is that this anger is actually coming from public servants who are much higher up. These public servants were promised a warning so they could sell their shares, unfortunately, the leak came out before they could sell, share price dropped and they’re all pissed off.

I think, if that had have happened, it would have been called insider trading.

Allegedly.

Let's leave Michael alone, people who ride bikes have been given enough shit recently or do we need to bring up the Commonwealth 'let's go for a nudey run and wee on our team mates' Games again too?

Raspberry and Coke

There are a few things you expect from your local dairy owner:

1: You expect to pay $4.50 dollars for 2 litres of milk..
2: You expect to pay $12 dollars for a last minute cheesecake on the way to a dinner party..
3: You expect the licorice on the counter to look a little dodgy..
4: You expect to see a small pyjama clad child who needs to blow his nose standing just behind the counter with a really manky looking dog and a Barney toy..
(Feel free to add to this list in the comments section..)

However, you don't usually expect bad news.

That's all changed now my friend because Monise from the dairy and lotto shop on our corner has said that the Raspberry and Coke ride is all over.

So I went to the Internet because it always speaks the truth. This from raspberrycoke.co.nz

"Sadly, you can no longer buy Raspberry Coke in New Zealand. The shops have stopped selling it.

Imagine if the petrol companies said , "no, we're discontinuing Diesel. It's plain old Regular, Super or nothing for you matey."

That's what this is like!

I'll pay more Mr Coke Sir.. I'll give you $3.50 a bottle. If I'm on a skifield this winter I'll even pay $8. That's normal price? Right. $10 dollars per bottle on the skifield. Or, tax me. Like Road User Charges for Diesel owners. Raspberry User Charges. We can use the same form.. It won't cost you more, I'll nick some from the AA.

As a boy I insisted on Raspberry and Coke at Cobb & Co while all my little friends got traffic lights. Even when I got to the drinking age I put a shot of Raspberry in my Stinger while all my friends did the Midori shot or the Purple Goanna.

Don't spend all your time promoting that silly fridge and all those bands, or telling me how summer is for the beautiful people, bring back the Raspberry and Coke, it was really good.

This is what I dislike about journalists..

Headline from the NZ Herald:


Hide waltzes to the bottom of the pack in Dancing with the Stars.

What about Beatrice waltzes gracefully into the lead?


Some kiwi blogs are talking about their favourite journalists at the moment, as far as I’m concerned they’re all bitter and twisted until proven otherwise – always looking for the negative angle while gazing up at that glass ceiling and always looking to take something down instead of saying something positive.

Oi, tabloid hack, does hanging around bad news make you hate the world? At the very least speculate as to who Brendan Cole is going to shag this time round!

Also, Santa? Yeah, I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony....

The only thing really wrong with Dancing with the Stars is that there’s too much talk and not enough dancing.

It’s lightweight TV. Noone's going to top themself if they miss an episode.

Our first child is due next month

That’s a gift that is - almost as good as the garden shed!

It’s a funny feeling, next month is... Next month! I will be a Dad. A Daddy. A father. There's some words to try on for size.

I don’t have a lot of family, I never knew my father, my mother died when I was 10 – there was a step father but he was a dick. I was extraordinarily lucky to be brought up after the age of 10 by my grandparents. While my Nan is gone, my Grandad – the greatest man alive is still about. He’s been my closest family up until I got married and when the baby comes, he’ll be a Great-Grandad x 8!

In that, I’m quite protective of my family name and when I got this email, it surprised me a bit.

Hi Dave, what’s your real name? Like, Smart is surely a made up radio name.

David Connor Smart is absolutely my real name. Named by my mother Marian Smart.
I’m no relation to Ben Smart. Marlborough Sounds Ben with Olivia Hope…
I’m no relation to Fran Smart who does a music video show on Alt TV in her undies.
I’m no relation to this Smarty chick – she’s much more attractive than I.
I am related to Anna Smart – the Viva FM radio host – that’s my wife and much more attractive than everyone.
I am related to Palagi Pete – the Flava FM breakfast news reader – that’s my brother in law who my wife and I are currently in a dispute with over a tub of Movenpick icecream.

So while the word or name 'Smart' might be a marketing buzzword of huge proportions at the mo, it is still a reasonably popular family name.

Oh, and I'm related to Roger Tibbs – “New Zealand’s yodeling man”.

Apparently. Although I’ve never met the man. He’s my claim to fame.

It’s my birthday today

I’m 31. No big deal, I’ve had 30 already and I’m quite used to them coming round once a year.

Wife and the in-laws teamed up and got me a garden shed. I’m very happy.

Your Birthdate: May 3

You are more than a big ball of energy - you are a big ball of hyper.
You are always on the go, but you don't have a type a personality.
Instead of channeling your energy into work, you instead go for fun and adventure.
Witty and verbal, you can have an interesting conversation with anyone.

Your strength: Your larger than life imagination

Your weakness: You tend to be pretty scattered

Your power color: Lime

Your power symbol: Lightening bolt

Your power month: March


Might be a bit of bollocksy internet rubbish. But hey it's fun, give it a go.

I’ve also got that job as a part time tutor at the New Zealand Radio Training School. Teaching students the skills to get them their first radio gig, whether that be on air, promotions, writing, management, production – whatever they like! It’s pretty exciting. I’ll still be here on Classic Hits, but this is a night time show which leaves all day to shape the young minds of the future so one day they’ll take my job!

A lot of people would be paranoid at the thought of that, I figure, the sooner someone has the skills to do my job, the sooner I can move forward to my next goal.

Don't make yourself irreplaceable. You'll never achieve anything more.

That doesn’t work on non-ambitious people though…


Insert tired "Kiwi saved from extinction" title here..

I've been asked in several emails to comment on the Kiwi FM sale. Here it is:

"TRN has recently been made aware of the proposal and has no comment at present".

See, I like my place of work and the people I work with and after 14 years I'd like that arrangement to continue. It's not that I don't have an opinion on it, I just don't care. I'm more interested in what the opposition put on the frequency that Kiwi will vacate.

Have a read of what
Dubber says. He knows a thing or two.

The NZ Radio Awards were on the weekend and while we were nominated for 7, we won two. Kent and Bundy's Classic Breakfast in Nelson won Best Regional Breakfast Show, and Murray Lindsay from our 10-2 show won Best Non-Breakfast Air Personality.

Legends. We're very proud.

Just quietly, the difference between a nomination and winning is the free frame for the certificate to go in - it's pretty bloody good either way.