Meeting my own Father...

Every one of us has a different story when it comes to our own fathers. Some of us have great Dads who have evolved into great Grandads. Some of us have had difficult relationships with the old man and some of us have simply never known him.

We all know men who have an incredibly strong desire to not do what their father did. They want to put things right. To be more than the man that he was. To restore father-son relationships back to their proper order. To not make the same mistakes that he did. I am one of those men. My father took off on conception and was never seen again. My mother also died when I was very young. I used to be angry about this, but as I’ve matured, I’ve mellowed somewhat.

A couple of years ago, through a very simple Google search, I found a man with the right name and various clues that led me to believe that he could potentially be my father. I even had a phone number. I’ve sat on this phone number, memorised it, thought about it lots but until recently, never had the courage to ring it. Dozens of questions whirled round my mind. Would he be the right man? If he is, would he admit it or would he lie and say he wasn’t? Would he even remember my mother? What if he didn’t want to know me? Why do I feel drawn towards him when he obviously didn’t give a toss about me back when I was born?

I realised eventually that there wasn’t a gaping hole in my emotional well-being that I needed him to fill. I wasn’t angry anymore. My life as a husband, father and contributor to society is great. I’m a good person and a success. I don’t need this man. So I called the number.

He was out and his wife answered, she guessed very quickly why I was ringing and told me when he would be home. She also said, “I think he’s going to be very pleased to hear this. It’s something that will be good for him too.” I did call back and established through the information I had that we are father and son. Since then we’ve spoken several times, we’ve sent and received Christmas cards and photos. He even called me on Father’s Day last year to wish me, his son, a happy Fathers Day!

On Sunday I fly to Australia to see him. I don’t know what to expect or if the meeting will go well. Will it be closure, or will it open something new? Will I arrive to meet my father and leave calling him Dad? When we have children, it makes us question our own family history. The reasons may be as clinical as knowing what genetic make-up or defects we may inherit. It may go deeper than that.

We who are fathers are also sons, whether we like the result or not. We must never forget that while we are now adults, this does not stop us from being children and that the relationships we have with our parents will have a huge impact on the relationship our children have with us.

(Also published on DIY


We're getting on it just as everyone is getting off and going to Twitter. Typical.
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Race Relations Day

We spent Friday morning at Parliament, and released 195 balloons - one for every country - to celebrate International Race Relations Day. This was a show of unity and oneness across all the people in New Zealand because we all come from many different parts of the world.

This was immense fun, thank you to Joris de Bres, NZ's Race Relations Commissioner, the kids from Sacred Heart, students from the NZRTS, our Promo team of Morgan Penn and Olivia Gauld and our boss, Jason Pine back in the studio.

Click here to listen (15 minutes)

DIY Father | Post #3

I wrote this a while back and it's just been published on DIY Father last night. Thanks to Rob Marsden for the inspiration.
When my wife was pregnant with number one, I was given the best piece of advice by my brother in law who is a Dad of one boy. He said this; "I’m not going to give you any advice."
Click here to go to DIY Father to read the rest...

Uncle John Sessions | March 6

Yes, it seems that we have the most accessible Prime Minister in the world. We catch up with him once a month and here he is this morning talking about section 92a, his favourite dairy, whether he'd let his daughter enter a beauty pageant and maths.

Click here to listen...

Kapiti - update

I wrote about being networked onto Classic Hits 92.7 in Kapiti-Horowhenua last year in a fill in role when the local host was away. Then, it was announced a couple of weeks ago that we would be going in there full time.

I had a couple of messages asking what this meant for Phil Costello, the incumbent host. These things are always a bit awkward, and unfortunately, redundancy is a pretty common thing these days. Everyone knows someone who has been affected by it and it’s a pretty dismal process to go through, whoever you are.

Well, the boss has just announced it to staff so I can tell you. Phil has been made Operations Manager of our Kapiti-Horowhenua station so he’s staying with us. Not only that, he gets to sleep in now and because he’s the boss, he’s probably got a pay rise as well!

To get something amazing given to you at the expense of someone else isn’t pleasant, and I’m stoked that we’re all still on the same team.

Congratulations Phil. This photo here is him and his band.

The Neverending Headache...

Yes, I’m up and awake as usual and tonight, the headache isn’t too bad. Bad enough however that I can’t sleep.
Let’s go back.

On Tuesday, I had my lower two impacted wisdom teeth extracted. It’s a fairly normal procedure in this day and age, I won’t bore you with the details except to tell you that the aftermath of General Anaesthetic makes me act like a shitfaced 22 year old at 3am.

I spent Tuesday and Wednesday popping Nurofen, Panadol and Tramadol and recovering as you do but on Thursday night, things changed.

I began to get a headache, the likes of which I have never felt before. I rang the dentist surgery who said, “Come in, we’ll take a look. It might be something we call dry socket.”

It wasn’t, but they did tell me to stop taking Tramadol as it can cause headaches in some people and gave me a script for Codeine instead. Home I went and I spent the entire night awake with this headache.

Friday night, it became unbearable, I was in tears, doubled over and a complete mess. We go the neighbour in to watch the kids and Anna took me to Wellington Hospital’s ED at about 7pm. They took bloods, which were fine. They gave me Panadol and Nurofen, which didn’t work. They eventually gave me Fentanyl. That worked! Unfortunately, it lasted about half an hour before wearing off. I took two swigs of that, then some morphine based anti-inflammatory which got me home about midnight.

Saturday night. You guessed it, the pain is back. I called the dentist who saw me on Friday night who rang the on-call head-teeth guy. Turns out, he was the guy who took my wisdom teeth out earlier in the week, bonus! He was at Hutt Hospital so off I trekked about 9pm to see this guy. They gave me a CT scan to make sure I didn’t have a tumour or anything really nasty, dumped all the pills that I have been taking up until now and handed me some new ones, Serva-something and Indomethi-something. Pills, which when I went to get the prescription, the lady behind the counter thought I was an addict and had to call the Doctor to make sure I was getting the right stuff.

Sunday night was bearable, I didn’t need any sort of medical intervention at all and I got a full night’s sleep, unfortunately these new drugs change my mood and make me sleepy so no work as yet.

Now here I am on Monday night, awake, in a bit of pain, not so bad I need to call someone but bad enough that I can’t sleep. I’m going to attempt work in the morning because at this stage the pain is only really bad at night.

It’s worth pointing out that they don’t know what’s wrong with me. The Doctor even said that the mystery has got him and his mates quite fascinated with my case and there are apparently a bunch of Doctors working on me now.

I’ve finally made it, I am starring in my own episode of House, MD.